This is probably the most overly discussed but important topic. I was coaching a student last night. He told me he was very afraid of approaching women. He told me he believed that he cannot attract beautiful women. I asked him to write a list of things he is afraid of. When we discussed that list it was obvious that his fears were nothing but excuses.

For a long time I labeled my excuses as fears as well. But now I know that most of your fears are mere excuses or myths. If you do not push yourself to face your fears you will spend most of your life hurting.

I am listing some of these excuses here from my book “From Approaching To Sex In Under 30 Minutes“.

Read these and make a commitment to get rid of your excuses, take action and approach those beautiful women. Make a promise right now to approach two women today after reading this post.

Here are some excuses or internal conflicts that prevent us from making the move:

I am not good looking.

Women are far more attracted to personality than looks. In fact, being a man who is conventionally good looking presents its own set of challenges. Many women feel as though they are players and do not trust them from the outset.

Most guys are not good looking and most women are far more attracted to personality than looks. In fact good looks in men has its own set of challenges. These men come across as players and women don’t trust them. 

 If you display qualities that attract women nothing else matters.

Seal married Heidi Klum – need I say more? Most of the time it is other factors that get you the woman.

Everyone will laugh at me when I get rejected.

Only if you act rejected! No one knows you got rejected unless you leave the set crushed. When a set ends or you get rejected, take it like a man. Smile, shake hands and say it was nice talking with you. Leave with a smile on your face. Women usually are very polite when they reject you.  If they do, BIG FUCKIN’ DEAL!  Everyone, including me, gets rejected.

She probably has a boyfriend.

She probably does – she probably does not! It means nothing. She might be dating him to land the role she has been dying to get or because she has not met anyone like you. She does not want to come across as a loser by being single. I could publish an entire book with stories of women leaving their boyfriends or husbands for someone else.

That guy is probably her boyfriend.

The only way you’re going to find out is if you approach her. Even if he is her boyfriend he’s not likely to kill you. Eight out of ten times the guy will turn out to be her friend because women do not like to go out alone. They feel more secure with having a guy along for the ride; it prevents losers from approaching her. In fact, approaching a woman who is with a guy raises your value. You are seen as a confident, ballsy guy to be able to do that. On numerous occasions I have seen women make out with other guys and provide a phone number in spite of their boyfriend’s presence. Expand your belief system and experience the magic.

Recently I was with a student and I sent him to open a set on the dance floor. The woman was with three guys. I watched from a distance as he opened the set and then became surrounded by the three guys. I approached and found that he wasn’t in trouble as I thought. The men were from France and had traveled to the U.S.; the woman just happened to be with them. In a short time everyone were chummy as old friends – and the man told my friend that the girl was single, to make a move.

Now, I must admit that if I had realized early on that she was with three guys I probably would have not sent this student to open her. I should note that this was his first time in the field but failing to send him would have done him a huge disservice. Valuable lesson learned! Open and don’t worry about dynamics. Let it play out! You’ll be surprised.

She will think poorly of me if I approach her. I will lose value for approaching her.

Au contraire. She will have more respect for you for approaching her as opposed to not approaching her. After all, they go out themselves to meet men.

I was once recording live pick-ups in a bar and a group of women approached me. I talked with them about this very fact. They agreed that they would rather have guys approach them rather than not approach them.  Imagine how crushed they will be if no one approaches them!  You are only respecting women by approaching them, a fact a woman will only confess to a confident man.

She spotted me making out with another girl.

Congratulations! You now have very high value in her eyes! Women love a man that other women want. Why do you think rock stars get laid all the time? In fact, you lose value if you don’t flirt with other women.

One of my ex-girlfriends confessed that she would always let her boyfriend flirt with other women because it increased his confidence and her jealousy level, that the combination resulted in great sex. Needless to say, she didn’t have to apologize to me for being sexual!

I don’t have much to say.

This won’t be true after reading this book and doing the exercises I ask you to do! You will have plenty of material to use. If not, you will learn to create it while in action.

She is a wallflower.

What if the girl is sitting all by herself in the corner? Good news—seduction will be easy. You don’t have to look for an isolated corner to make out with her and this will also ensure less distraction. Chances are that she is shy if she is sitting in a corner by herself.  In this case you will need to do more talking at first. It also means she has not been approached much that night. She will thank you for helping her have fun because she could have been bored the entire night.

 The point cannot be made strongly enough: Women are dying for you to approach them! They want the same thing you do!  Be a Man and seduce her. She will thank you for that! 

I am not in the mood.

Excellent—go and talk to her. This should get you out of your gloomy mood. For Christ’s sake, stop making the damn excuses!

I’ll start tomorrow.

Good—just have some ear plugs ready because the sounds of your roommate fucking her will hurt.

While going to school in New Jersey I lived in a townhouse and roomed with four guys and four girls. There was an attraction between one of the girls and me. One night there was a party for the Seniors and she asked if I wanted to go. “I’m not in the mood,” was my response. My roommate ended up making a move on her while at the party. I cannot tell you how pissed I was listening to them fuck all night long.

Make the excuse today and tomorrow you will say again “I’ll start tomorrow!” It’s a cycle that will never end.

I can only give you advice. I cannot make you go and do what you are supposed to do.

Need motivation? Go back to page 30 and read the bullet points. The sooner you start your journey, the sooner you will reach your destination. Everything else can wait! 

RULE:

From now on, anytime you have an excuse as to why you should not approach the woman you MUST approach her to prove to yourself that you were making an excuse.

Read “From Approaching To Sex in under 30 Minutes” and discover techniques to train your mind to stop fearing beautiful women and start dating them. Try risk free for 30 days and see the results.